Spoken in American accent, with strong intonation

I’m chubby, my mummy’s chubby, my daddy’s chubby, even my goldfish is chubby. One day my daddy was driving to the shops and I said, “faster, daddy, faster” And he went faster and it ends there.

This is a performance piece, spoken at school by one of Robin’s classmates and repeated at home time and again, sometimes word-for-word, sometimes with adaptations and very often to gales of appreciative laughter.


Gabe finished junior school with a series of events: assemblies and a retirement party for the head teacher. The final day’s assembly lasted hours as each leaver was introduced and bade farewell. Gabe passed on the role of Head Boy, receiving a pile of Michael Morpurgo books for his year’s work. Many cried at the assembly, but not, he tells me, Gabe. He has brought with him the song ‘Goodbye my friends’, which is sung in any spare moment at home.


One of the delights of Eliza’s burgeoning personality is her teasing of me. Often it’s about my big nose or big ears. It can be about things – e.g. Ice cream – that she claims to love more than me. On holiday in Northumberland, she whipped Robin and cousin F into a 20 minute long chant of “Daddy’s naughty, Daddy’s naughty, Daddy’s naughty…”. It was caused by a beach football injury to Robin and lasted the length of our walk back across the beach.


One response to this post.

  1. […] children, drunken mothers and runaway fathers with the same relish and unsentimentality as she did Michael Morpurgo’s tales of world events separating loved ones from each […]


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